Chick Friendly Porn

Now any single dude worth his salt has porn stashed away somewhere, it's comes standard in the resident where staying in, doesn't have to be a lot could, be in any media, pics, video, DVD, magazines what ever.

It's a must have in the house like a couch, or plates and cups.

And that pornography has almost always been created with men in mind, since men dollars are believed to fuel the billion dollar industry.

Now I have never given that much thought to that because......well.....it naked women doing nasty things in a ever so good way, I don't want to think about it!

That is until I was looking on Amazon for some blaxploitation movies to add to my collection when I came across a title on the net that was described as women friendly pornography, (you type in the word Afro in the search bar and your going to get all sorts of crazy ish).

Let me rephrase that, it was described as "independent art film", you can go either way with the word art now.

From my favorite artist Ernie Barnes beautiful depiction of black life, such as "Singing Sistahs".

To this lazy S.O.B. Andres Serrano's Piss Christ.


I mean really now, never mind the vulgarity of the symbolism if you think it such, lets focus on the pure, uncut, unmitigated gall of the idea to piss in a jar throw a crucifix in it and call it art, and than get critical acclaim for it!

Damn if that is not a hustler finding an easy mark for a beginners con!

My apologies I digress, back to the chick friendly porn.....

My first thought was porn is porn whats the difference?

But after giving it some serious thought I have to be honest and say that the majority of pornography out there are not women friendly, to be honest they are out right hostile if you think about it.

In almost every way, starting with the titles All Dat Azz, Hit It From The Back, and other imaginative names.

Than you move on to the women who although paid well in the major productions (if you can call them that), are easily disposable, and WAY OVER WORKED, (some of them have done movies in the thousands).

They are really no more than walking talking blow up dolls made to visually stimulate the viewer, who is predominantly male, by acting out the fantasy that are running through are head which we will than will than use as a blue print to how we express ourselves sexually with a woman foreplay be damned.

The only real consideration for women has happened in the last 10 to 15 years were the physical appearance of male stars have been improved to good looking super studs from the rock trolls that were working over the women before.

I can see how women might not enjoy porn, at least not as much as men.

So I decided to order the DVD and take a look to see what the difference was.

I got the DVD in less than two days, my kudos to Amazon and the seller, that was two weeks ago I just watched it Tuesday.

The movie is called Candida Royalle's AfroDite Superstar.

Candida Royalle is an American producer and director of couples-oriented pornography and a former pornographic actress.


"In 1980 she founded Femme Productions, with the goal of making erotica based on female desire. Her productions are aimed more to women and couples than to the standard pornographic audience of men, and they have been praised by therapists for portraying in general a more realistic and emotional picture of sex. "

The director is called Venus Hottentot whose real name is Abiola Abrams ,



she is described as a "feminist art school graduate who wanted to make a film that showed positive sexual representations of women of color to directly contrast the images in pop culture music videos, films and magazines, while also employing comedy and satire".

It should be noted that she also does some work for BET, just to put some perspective out there.

Together they created a movie that I did my very best to actually bottle up my testosterone and let out the feminine side out as they say to better give an objective eye to the movie,(if I got a feminine side you best believe she is an ultra butch lesbian on her way to a sex change operation).

This is what the product description reads;

Have you ever dreamed of being a superstar? AfroDite hasn't - not until she runs into CEO, the mogul's mogul of hip hop. Catapulted into the world of mega-stars with her best friend Isis in tow, AfroDite quickly becomes a top selling rapper and nothing can keep her down - not wardrobe malfunctions, not lip syncing fiasco, nothing! Well, almost nothing. Finding herself a little socially challenged in the love department, her secret crush CEO only seems to see dollar signs on her forehead. Will AfroDite get her man? And will super stardom turn out to be everything she never wished for?

???

Man I wanted to hurry up and send that mutha back to where ever Lifetime/chick lit/chick movie spawned this joint, express mail.

But no, I need to see this, I myself am tyring to be women friendly, so that one day when asked by a women "are you listening to me" I can say yes and really mean it.

So I grabbed a bottle of Haitian rhum popped in the flick.......I mean film......and took a seat.


Lets shorten the plot up.

The movie it's self is a low budget affair but I wasn't expecting Lord of the Rings XXX, the protagonist of the movie is AfroDite who is the daughter of a very successful music mogul, while out at with her friend Isis a rapper wannabe, played by former porn star India, the two put on a rap show performance that attracts the attention of CEO played by another porn veteran Mr. Marcus who want Afrodite to be on his label based on her looks.

She hearts him, he is about his business, all the while the movie critiques the music industry sincerity complete stars who have no talent, ghostwriters put in the back ground, fake gangster rappers and all.

The movie even uses dated pop news controversies like lip syncing, wardrobe malfunctions, talent women forced to work the back ground in male dominate industry.

That is the bones of the movie so here are some observations.

1- With the exception of Mr. Marcus and India this is a very unattractive cast.

This was confusing to me since porn usually goes out of it's way to cast beautiful women, the greater appeal to men's fantasy.

I could be wrong but I am sure women who watch porn don't mind attractive people having sex.

If I was to speculate I would guess that pretty people in porn are not used to actually having to act thus limiting options, but that doesn't sound right considering that the ones in this movie are lousy at acting as well.

2- Dialog, a whole lot of it complete with quotes from the goddesses of feminism like Gloria Stienem, Naomi Wolfe, and Audre Lourde.

Not quite what I had in mind for a porn, but than again this is really erotica which is all about mind stimulation as opposed to porn which is all about visual stimulation.

3- This movie is preachy as hell, I mean overly so.

I always believed the best way to get a message across is to mix it with something sweet so it doesn't taste like medicine or in this case your being talked at.

It's the reason "conscience" rappers don't get mainstream attention and why idiots with a mic get it all.

This movie makes everything obvious pointing out what we already know about the Hip Hop industry and not offering any real solutions or even reason why it is the way it is.

4- You call these sex scenes?

Now this movie categorizes it's self as soft porn, but I was under the impression that your not supposed to see penetration or oral sex in those movies, but damn if you don't in this.

What is different is the way it is shot no extreme close ups of the genitals,
(which is annoying as hell in porn), kissing, and the women seem to genuinely enjoy the sex, as opposed to porn were things are so exaggerated you cant believe that the women really had an orgasm.

Another thing that was missing that threw me off was the missing money shots, also known as male ejaculation.

Now in porn I never understood the reason to show it in the first place, that's not why I want to watch it and it is pretty obvious that it is degrading to women since they are the targets.

Besides what man wants to pull out if he doesn't have to?

Don't believe me?

Go ask the nearest baby daddy, I am sure they will back me up.

5- The plot was all over the place, feminism, erotica, satire, pop critique, none of it blended well and it served as more of a distraction.

Hell I thought erotica was supposed to build up the sexual tension before going into the sex scenes not here, that's the one thing this movie has in common with porn it doesn't take much to get busy.


Bottom line after caging the dog in me, who is laughing it's ass off at me, to watch this I got to say this movie sucked big time.

It isn't porn but damn if I call it erotica, this was a statement movie and not a very good one, they were better off leaving the sex scenes out.

Your better off watching the Zane chronicles on showtime or renting the Trois series.

But I will say that this is the directors first time out so that counts, and the behind the scenes documentary was real good, in fact they could of just put that out.

Now this movie was made by women for women so I might be showing some male bias here, it's not the first time I didn't get it when it came to chick orientated media, probably wont be the last time either.

And it was black women orientated, not enough of that out here in the world so women might like it.

Me I'll pass, like music, and books, porn is just recycling the same BS anyway.

Joke for the day

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his
wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at
home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen!"

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate.

Awakened the kids.

Set out their school clothes.

Fed them breakfast.

Packed their lunches.

Drove them to school.

Came home and picked up the dry cleaning.

Took it to the cleaners.

And stopped at the bank to make a deposit.

Went grocery shopping.

Then drove home to put away the groceries.

Paid the bills and balanced the check book.

He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then, it was already 1P.M.

And he hurried to make the beds.

Do the laundry, vacuum, Dust, And sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on
the way home.

Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework.

Then, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washin g vegetables for salad, breaded
the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 P.M he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to
bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through
without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, "Lord, I don't know what I was thinking."

I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day.

Please, oh! Oh! Please, let us trade back.
Amen!'

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:

"My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change
things back to the way they were."

You'll just have to wait nine months, though.

You got pregnant last night.'

Wordless Wednesday: If Women Ruled the World 2

Im Just playing.

The Sarah Palin Porn Movie

Exclusive First Look: The Sarah Palin Porn Flick

Larry Flynt unabashed defender of all things smut has decided to film a porn film with a Sarah Palin look a like.

The script goes as follows:

(Open on the PALIN residence, Wasilla, Alaska. Evening. Governor SARAH PALIN is sitting on the couch, reading "all of the magazines." She is wearing a satin negligee and bunny slippers. Her luxurious brown hair is in a bun. Her glasses rest just so on the bridge of her nose. TODD is out of town on business. TRIGG is peacefully asleep upstairs. There is a firm knock at the door.

PALIN puts down her reading material and goes to answer it.)

PALIN: Who is it?

GRUFF MALE VOICE: It's JOE, the tanning-bed repairman.

(PALIN unlocks the door and opens it)

PALIN: Hiya! You were supposed to be here two hours ago, doncha know?

JOE: I'm sorry. My snowmobile broke down outside of Matunska. I had to walk the rest of the way.

PALIN: Well, you're in luck. I just baked a batch of chocolate-chip cookies. Why don't you come inside and I'll fix you a plate of 'em?

(JOE obliges. He takes a seat on the couch. PALIN enters the kitchen and returns shortly after with the cookies. She gives them to JOE, but not before looking him up and down.)

PALIN: My oh my. That's quite a toolbelt you have on. It looks heavy.

JOE: I have a big hammer.

PALIN: Oh, I betcha do. I love a big hammer. But I love screwdrivers, too! And wrenches. The fact is I love and respect all of America's diverse tools, big and small. They're what helps make us so great as a nation. Here, let me take that off for ya.

(PALIN takes a seat on the coach beside JOE and starts to undo his belt. He stops her.)

JOE: Let's go take a look at the tanning bed first.

PALIN: Oooh, okay.

(PALIN leads JOE to the tanning salon in the basement. JOE carefully inspects the machine.)

JOE: Looks like there are just a bunch of screws loose.

PALIN: (seductively) You're in luck. I fully support off-shore and on-shore drilling.

(PALIN pounces on JOE and throws him onto the top of the tanning bed. She quickly rips off his jeans.)

PALIN: God almighty! You are hung like a moose. Now I have to eat ya!

JOE: I'm bigger than a moose. Do you have any contraceptives?

PALIN: It's okay. I already took a morning-after pill.

JOE: Um, are you sure it works that way?

PALIN: Are you asking me if I know what a morning-after pill is? Because I totally do! I'll get back to ya with specifics.

(The two proceed to make furious love in a multitude of positions. PALIN amply demonstrates that she has enough experience.)

PALIN: Fuck me harder! HARDER! Pound me until my head is so empty that I can't even remember the name of the one Supreme Court case I actually know! I want it to burn. Burn like a banned book. Oh God, Oh God, OH MY GOD! MAKE ME SEE RUSSIA FROM HERE!
(After 10 minutes, the two finish.)

PALIN: Wow-eee. I haven't had a ride that good since Todd took me for a spin on the back of his Yamaha at the Tesoro Iron Dog.

JOE: That was amazing. What now?

PALIN: I feel so alive! Let's grab my gay friend and go shoot wolves from the safety of a helicopter.

As porn movies go this isn't half bad, hell porn hasn't used a script with words that had more than 4 letters since the 70s.

But all jokes put to the side this is wrong.

Yes the women is not qualified, she is a bit clueless, hypocritical, and a con artist, but she doesn't deserve this.

This was done because she is a woman, and when women come into a roll of leadership and power the first thing that men who cant look at the facts do is question the woman's intelligence and play up her sexuality.

She is either Nazi lesbian out to kill all men, (see Hillary Clinton), or a clueless bimbo who cant walk and chew gum at the same time.

It's sexist and that's coming from a guy who like me who has been clowning her since day one!

But I do it because I know she is a quick fix choice made by a desperate candidate so hell bent on winning that he is selling out his own values and pushing a woman whose only purpose is to get "disgruntle" women to run into his arms during election.

I don't like people trying to insult my intelligence, especially don't like dumb people trying to do it.

That's why I give Sarah Palin hell.

What hustler is doing though is just low.

The thing that's funny is that it's not even needed.

Sarah Palin has given is doing enough missteps to give comedians an opinion hack like me enough material to last till the next election in 2012.


Thumbs down for the boys at Hustler (and believe me I didn't want to do it).

News From Planet "Duh" 6:Breast Ironing

I thought this was a joke at first I kept waiting for some one to jump up and say "Gottcha!"


***Warning this is graphic***


Africa Practices Breast Ironing To Reduce Teenage Pregnancy


What the $%#&?!

I don't even know where to begin on this one.

Lack of education, preying on young girls by men, child abuse, you can attack it from all angles.

Now I have a problem when people try to place their values and beliefs on other cultures, but when that other culture is practicing harmful traditions, than the situation should be addressed.


BTW so you don't believe in sex education do you Gov. Sarah Palin?

Report: Kicker dismissed by Georgia team for being a girl

Report: Kicker dismissed by Georgia team for being a girl

Kacy Stuart has the leg to be a prospective high school place-kicker in Georgia.

Kacy Stuart has the leg to be a prospective high school place-kicker in Georgia.

Problem is, the administration of the Georgia Football League, the association for private-school teams in the state, said the 14-year-old freshman can't play because she's a girl, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported.

According to the girl's mother, Kacy was dismissed from the New Creation Center Crusaders, a private Christian academy in McDonough, Ga., as team photos were being shot, even after she had practiced with the team for two months.


Here is the thing out side of tennis, pool, bowling, or poker (I hesitate to call that a sport), I'm not a fan of co-wed sports, (you can give an OK to co-wed wrestling but it ain't the sport of it that's interesting).

Because of the physical aspect of most sports it would slow the game down, Im not worried about a woman getting hurt because you can get hurt rolling out of your bed in the morning so whats the big deal?

Now of course if you came up across a Wonder Woman who just physically dominant than all bets are off, but we haven't seen that yet.

But in this situation here ,we have unique circumstances, the little lady is playing place kicker.

The place kicker has one job to do and that's kick the ball, if her team mates do their job she doesn't have to worry about getting hurt, and if they don't, unless she picks that muffed snap up she'll be fine too.

So to me that makes sense to let her play.

I also have a problem with fact that she was already practicing and scrimmaged once and all of a sudden you pull her off the team.

That is foul, telling a kid she cant play after she suits up is dirty.

The GFL needs to be sued out of their pants for that.

Let the kid play.

Note to John McCain: "Man you come straight out of a comic book" Jim Kelly

Boy you got to love the Republicans, there like evil genius.

If you believe Sarah Palin was picked for VP by the "Joker" based on merits I got to a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.

This move was done for one thing and one thing only, to split the Dems and rally all those bitter B calling themselves Hillary Clinton Supporters.

It ain't going to work sucker at this point of the game every one is hip to how you play it.

None the less I didn't think you had it in you.

Well played McCain well played.

Mathematics 103

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item
that she doesn't need.

Thanks to Bria.

And the First Nominee for the Dumb A@# of the Year is: Yung Berg

This is pretty self explanatory right here, this is the fool placing the gun to the head of his career and squeezing.

http://www.zshare.net/audio/15008722572a0749/

WTF is this idiot talking about?

Pool?

Brown gel?

And than the fool does it twice!!


Like nobody understood how stupid he sounded the first time.

I'm sorry what year is this?

We still picking cotton and cutting down sugar canes?

Did I miss something?

How in this day in age can you be on some color coded mess?

Every time I try to defend these young rappers some one hands a mic to the mentally challenged.

Now don't get me wrong most blacks go through "color" issues growing up, the product of being a minority in a predominately white society.

But you supposed to grow out of that mess and find some self pride, like around 13 or something if your slow.

I wish I could give him props for the apology but at this point you just sound stupid, like "but my best friend is black" stupid.

I cant speak about this ish no more I'm more mad about the fact I took time to type about it.

What the heck do I care I don't by his music.

There are others who do like the ones who by R. Kelly's jiont but not me.

What I learned over the weekend Female=Bitch

While cruising the net when I should have been studying for my exams I went to one of my favorite site to hang out at, and generally step on toes and run like hell, Gerard Butler After Dark.

It is a site were these very smart Sistas do what every body on the blogosphere does and that's talk about stuff that effects them. They also happened to be big fans of the actor Gerard Butler thus the name. Any way while there I came across this post:
http://www.gerardbutler-afterdark.com/2007/12/tale-of-two-tests.html

The author was talking about how the word female is basically the same as bitch now I have never used the former have for the latter as you can see on a previous post of mine. But after reading her article I would have to agree. The men that I know that have used it never used it in a "good way", I never thought about it though, it just did not occur to me that it is insulting.

You live and you learn.

Im still not telling that woman sorry though.

Yeah that sounds about right.

Words angry women have used to describe me that I had to look up.

philander:
(of a man) to make love with a woman one cannot or will not marry; carry on flirtations.

Womanizing:
To pursue women lecherously.

Lecherous:
1. given to or characterized by lechery; lustful.
2. erotically suggestive; inciting to lust.



Yeah that is pretty close, no cigar but close, but the one thing they can never say that I am:


Cheater.
Women Beater.
Insensitive.
Cold.
Distant.
Sexist.

Just because I like women (preferably unclothed) does not mean I do not respect or love them, or advocate their abuse or oppression.

For those wondering were I stand.

News From Planet "Duh Really?!?" 1: Santa banned from using the word Ho.

I believe in respecting all women but this is just silly.



Santas in Australia's largest city have been told not
to use Father Christmas's traditional "ho ho ho"
greeting because it may be offensive to women, it was
reported Thursday.

Sydney's Santa Clauses have instead been instructed to
say "ha ha ha" instead, the Daily Telegraph reported.

One disgruntled Santa told the newspaper a recruitment
firm warned him not to use "ho ho ho" because it could
frighten children and was too close to "ho", a US
slang term for prostitute.

"Gimme a break," said Julie Gale, who runs the
campaign against sexualising children called Kids Free
2B Kids.

"We are talking about little kids who do not
understand that "ho, ho, ho" has any other connotation
and nor should they," she told the Telegraph.

"Leave Santa alone."

A local spokesman for the US-based Westaff recruitment
firm said it was "misleading" to say the company had
banned Santa's traditional greeting and it was being
left up to the discretion of the individual Santa
himself.