All Right here we go.
There comes a time in a young boys life were what their standards of beauty and desires are beginning to be formed and to get drilled into your head by out side factors, leaving a blue print in their mind subconsciously of what they may find attractive.
These out side factors can be like crawling around the floor as a young boy in a house full of women, giving birth in the mind to a foot fetish.
Some times it is what your environment presents you with. It maybe Ms. Johnson down the street who happens to be bending over her flower bed giving a boy his first look at alien breasts thus an erection and a breast man is born.
It maybe the next door neighbor's daughter you see getting undressed at her bed room window. Giving you an eye full of what you wouldn't see in your own house.
TV images, magazines, music videos, the list goes on and on.
Well at my cross roads into sexual awakening happened to be shaped by by a friend of mines fathers porn stash.
That is when I saw sex for the first time and saw her.
I know it sounds perverted and twisted but look at it this way. Around that time my family wound up living for a year in an all white town with me going to an all white school. Only one other black family was in the neighbor hood and me and the boy of that family became as thick as thieves. And Like thieves we swiped a tape from his dad's videos. I cant remember the name or even what was going on but I remember her.
I remember also what the effects on my standards of beauty and desire were.
I remember walking around that small town not giving the local little white girls a second look, walking through that year in a daze and a perpetual erection.
My first kiss came from a thick lipped Trinidadian honey and I have not been kissed that way since.
I remember not being phased by the "light skinned" era of the 80's and early 90's. Instead I chased every dark skinned sista with a pulse.
Till this day I have a habit of going after older women.
I was into big butts and a smile before Bell Biv Devoe even thought about it.
I became a chocolate fiend.
I was like the white dude who went black and never went back. Except I am black too!
It was as if some one put roots on me.
So there you have it.
I am a black Robert Dinero.
And I have a porn star to thank for that.
I apologise to all women that may be offended by my selection.
If I had to do it all over, well.......YOU DAMN RIGHT I'LL DO IT AGAIN!
Merry Christmas Damn it!