Tuesday, July 1, 2008

True Story 9: Me at the gay girl bar.

I have been slow with the post because I have been hanging out all night this past week.

Seems like people can smell when you got cash on you so they call you to find some way to help you spend it.

In this case on Wednesday night a lady friend has this lesbian girlfriend who invited her to a lesbian bar.

She wants to go but is nervous about being hit on by women so she wants me to go with her as a buffer.

My curiosity is peaked so I want to go, just to say I have been to one, but it's not like I'm going to protect her from the romantic advances of some woman when I'm not her boyfriend, hell for the laugh of it I might try to hook her up with one, just to see her squirm, (she owes me some loot).

So we get there and it's pretty packed, it's called Phase 1 on Memorial Dr.

Nothing much to look at on the inside, just a regular old hole in the wall club with the mandatory pool tables small dance floor next to the smaller stage.

I am on my best behavior, no flirting, no stepping on toes or getting in any ones way.

I'm looking out for any side way glances or looks of "what the hell is this dude doing in our turf?" looks, but every one seemed friendly enough.

I made my way to the bar and got the ladies I was with some beer and a long Island for myself.

Now while at the bar being attended by the bartender who did not seem to want to be bothered with me until I tipped her, (remember what I said about black women and tipping? http://thehappygoluckybachelor.blogspot.com/2008/02/what-i-learned-this-weekend-women-are.html ), I start surveying the bar not to flirt with any one, that thought went out my head the moment they told it was a gay bar, but because I wanted to see what every one else's reaction would be.

I am aware that although there are a few other men in the place I am the only one I know for sure is straight.

Which for some reason has me thinking that every women in the bar knows that too so my presence maybe making them uncomfortable, which I dint want, I am no party crasher.

Well I get a few glances from the "lipstick" ladies but I think that was them checking to see if I was a really just an extra studdly woman or if I was an actual man, there was some hard core looking "studs" up in there, for the most part I was ignored by all.

So I gather up my drinks delivered them to my escorts and found a secluded spot to chill at, which quickly got crowded, near the dance floor.

I got comfortable and started chatting it up with a stud asking what was on the agenda for the night.

She was a friendly one light skin big girl with long hair in a pony tail and very soft features, the type who no matter how hard they tried couldn't disguise the fact they were a woman if they wanted to.

And despite what she wore if I didn't know were I was at, would of got the full Ti-Pappa charm all over her wanted or unwanted.

She explained that tonight was a talent show case and everyone was waiting for the show.

So while keeping my eye on my friend who has her back to the wall and seems afraid to move, (ain't nobody studying her ass), I get to talking to another lady who I wind up buying drinks for, it occurred to me that she was hitting on me when she asked if I was straight, I quickly inform her that hell yeah I was straight but tried not to look to enthusiastic about it.

I'm uncomfortable going out with a lady friend and hitting on women while were out.

Before we could get into why two straight people were in a gay bar, (well at least I know I play for one team she may be a free agent), the show started.

Now the drinks were strong as hell, big up to Phase 1 for the Long Islands they out did Chit Chat's, so I'm expecting to be fully entertained.

But unfortunately things were pretty lame after that.

Apparently the lesbian community in Atlanta is running thin on available talent, the show consisted of strippers, (not very pretty ones), and lip syncing studs who stripped to the songs they out there to perform.

The women would go out there and throw dollars and put money in there pants and act a fool having fun, so that was the most important thing, and I have to admit some of those studs were in great shape, making me feel even more self conscience.

But that was it, after the show every one hit the dance floor, while I spent my time trying to find the one other straight women in the place but never saw her again that night.

A couple of more drinks and I was done, my friends and I made our way out with me trying to remember every woman's face in the joint so that if I came across them again I could immediately cross them off.

It wasn't bad, probably wouldn't rule out going back there again it was nice to see something different.

That's all.