Monday, June 22, 2009

A Question For The Moral Compass.

Here is some background, I have noticed a change in a friend who I was really digging, but she was just not into me.

Before it was all about marriage having another kid to add to the ones she has, and being loved.

Now it's about hustling dudes, partying, and what not.

Just real grimy type of stuff that she does that either has started up recently or I may have never noticed before.

Well this "church" going girl who a few years ago was so against abortion now decides to get one since she got knocked up by some dude.

The dude refuses to give up the money for it and says to her "that's your problem".

This "church" going girl than gets her cousins to beat dude down and wreck his car.

This friend than comes to me crying about the situation she is in but doesn't ask me for the money but instead asks for money to get her car title out of pawn which she will re pawn for the $500 it apparently costs to get an abortion.

I go ahead and give it to her.

I am no saint but my moral code is drawn at the line of abortion in any case except rape, incest, or the chance the mother loses her life.

But since she is asking for money for the car and not the abortion I think it's OK.

But now the back of my mind is moving up to the front and mixing me up, I am feeling I violated my own moral code here.

If a crack head ask you for money to get something to eat and you know he is just going to buy crack with it but you give it to him anyway you are an enabler.

So now I am thinking I just enabled this woman to do what she is going to do anyway and I am feeling twisted about it, I feel like I sinned.

I cant ask for the money back at this point.

And to top it off I am really some what disgusted by her a little bit for the way she has been turning out, I KNOW I cant look at her as the same person I met and that irks me to no ends.

People evolve and some degenerate but rarely do they stay the same as they were when they were younger.

But when your not ready for their growth you can get sucked into the hurricane that is their life and you make a move or two based on that which will begin to fuck with you.

She is going to sleep sound tonight, and I am going to be tossing and turning.

I need a vacation from my mind right now.